dicey | IC contact for adstringendum

Yeah, okay. Did you want to do it in person, or over the PCD?

Uh, its up to you! I don't really mind.

And this might be wrong, so. Just bare with me. I'm trying to make it, well. Relateable.

[she's coming to find you, wherever you are]

Oh, god! Don't try to relate it to the quadrants, okay? Humans are always so bad at that!

[But Vriska...that's his whole plan. Just don't shoot it down so easily.]

...Just, hear me out, okay? I'm in the kitchen.

[and here she comes, a few minutes later!]

Okay, let's hear it!

[Hanna is sitting and waiting with a big piece of paper and a marker at the kitchen table.]

Okay, so sit down and maybe I can help you understand a little bit more. [And now that Axel's not sitting right there, he'll be a little less embarrassed talking about certain things if it comes to that.

[she sits]

Hanna, are you going to draw me a diagram?

Yes. Yes I am. [And he'll just pop the lid off his marker and draw a her and draw a him.]

Okay, so. I've been thinking about it a lot, and was doing some research back on the basics of troll relationships and I think I've got a good idea going.

So, for example, you have your quadrants. culturally that's what is natural for you, yeah? [he draws for lines stemming off his little picture of Vriska.] And then there is me, I've got you, and Axel, and all of my friends. [He draws lines of himself too, putting a heart at the end of each line]

This is going to be a little confusing, but every human is different. There might be culturally accepted ways to relationships, but I don't think I really fit in that little box.

Okay. Keep going!

Okay, so. I've got Axel. We're dating. Its not like we're thinking about getting married, so we don't quite fit into that matesprite thingy you trolls have. But because we were friends first? I've still got a really strong relationship with him. I have a strong relationship with all of my friends, even if they are one sided relationships.

[He taps each heart connected to the lines.] Because I am like that. I get attached, even if they don't feel the same way. [Which is kind of a bad thing, but...she wanted to know, so he's just going to be honest.]

Now, the problem with that is that when you change the status of that relationship, from friends to partners, like I did with Axel, it takes a while to adjust. There are things you do with your uh...matesprite that you wouldn't do with your Moirail, right?

And that's not just, uh...sex.

There's sex and making out and other stuff like it, yeah.

Exactly. And not just that. Holding someones hand that you're with like that, it has a whole different meaning than holding someone elses hand. Or hugging them. I mean, if I could give my feelings colors, they'd all be different shades of red, you know? It all makes me happy, but...in a different way.

[He circles one heart, drawing a shield over it.] But, anyways, for me at least, I can sometimes be a little guarded. [He draws another one over a different heart, the one close to the Vriska diagram.] You know that.

Things go slower because they mean more, and that is why I kind of...well. I would rather do full time in Axel's room, than in yours. Because I...Well, we're starting all over. He has to break my shield all over again, so that we can get to that point that I'm comfortable doing things that well, couples do.

But I thought you said they didn't mean more.

No, no...that's not exactly what I meant. Vriska, i've been with you like this a little longer than i've been dating Axel. It might as well have been years and you're kind of a lot further ahead than he is. I'm saying that of all of my relationships, these two mean the most. I couldn't tell you how we got here, or why I feel like that, I can point out things we did, what we've talked about, but my heart feels more for the both of you than anyone else.

But, you've already gotten passed my shield. Axel just has to...well. He has to do it again, because there are different ones for different things.

If anything, it will be more difficult.

So you need more time together to do that? Or something?

In a way, you could say that.

But, anyways. To make it a little easier for you to understand, if you had someone you were thinking fit into your matesprite quadrant, you would talk about them to your Moirail, right? And maybe spend a little more time with them as you were figuring it out?

I guess. But like I keep having to tell people, moirails aren't just friends!

I didn't say they were, silly. [He'll just be reaching across the table to fluff her hair.]

And we're not just friends anyways. We're love hipsters. But regardless, I'm just saying, I'm trying to find a good balance between you, and Axel, so I can keep you both happy.

And being with you, and being with Axel makes me feel different kinds of happiness, so you shouldn't think I want to do one over the other. That's like, comparing apples and oranges. Is it a little more clear now, though? Did I do a good job?

I think so.

[she's still examining this diagram]

Cultural differences are just annoying as hell.

... That was nice, though, what you said about us being the ones that your heart feels the most for.

And then, you know I have other friends too. I'm just learning how to deal with that. I didn't have friends before, and now suddenly I have a bunch of them. So, its as new to me as it is to you. [He gives her a big smile.] But I'm glad it helped even a little.

And...I couldn't think of how to explain closeness any other way, so...I dunno. It just felt like the best way to put it.

Do you think it'll stay the way it is now?

I think maybe, one day, I'll be better at stuff like this. Explaining myself, and how I felt, but I don't think I'll ever change my mind about you, Vriska.

What about him? When you figure all that stuff out together and get past your shields, will you love him more than me?

Vriska, I told you, that's like comparing apples and oranges. Its a different kind of love. And maybe sometimes I will ask him to help me with something instead of asking you, but that just depends on the situation.

I mean, if I was having nightmares, I'd want you to be there. But if I couldn't sleep, I'd want him there.

Why? I bet he could help with nightmares and I bet I could help you go to sleep. How do you decide when you want who?

-- And even with different kinds, some can be more important than others, sometimes. That's what I was asking about.

IC contact for adstringendum

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