dicey | ☣ 004

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☣ 004 | audio

Man, this place is just turning into Troll City lately! What with weirdo future Karkat having been stuck here for perigees, meeeeeeee coming in just before that whole place flooded, and our poor, misguided, confused, obviously brain-damaged Tavros showing up just a few days ago.

Okay, so maybe three isn't really a lot, but it's one fourth of our entire species these days so shut up.

Aaaaaaaanyway, you all should probably ignore those losers. No, you definitely should! Especially if they type in brown and don't make much sense and talk shit about me. They don't know anything about anything.

But enough about them! What the fuck is going on with everyone else? You all are acting like total idiots and while it's actually pretty hilarious to watch, I don't really get it, haha. Explain!

[OOC: This post is audio because I figure not everyone wants her courier crap showing up on their flist, but anyone that's told me here that they don't mind her typing quirk will be getting her hiding behind text. If you reply to this and don't mind text responses, please let me know via that link! ♥]

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Your friend Tavros, of whom you spoke?

[She looks like her expression might falter for a moment, but she is back to smiling brightly before she realizes it.]

I am certain things will work out! Are your friends nobility as you are, Marquise?

No way! Tavros is pretty low on the hemospectrum, and I don't even know what Karkat is.

The Tavros who's here is saying a lot of weird things, too. Soooooooo annoying!

Then as the noblest among your people, it falls to you to guide them and encourage in them virtues. And from our brief conversations, I feel that you will do well in this, Marquise. You are a very wise lady.

Perhaps Tavros is saying such oddities in order that he may gain attention? I have seen my cousins do this at home. And when Father takes notice of them, they return to being their ~~arrogant, temperamental~~ cheerful selves. Show him kindness, and he may do the same.

[... she has no idea what to do about being praised like this BUT SHE LIKES IT]

Exactly! They all moan and complain, but you know what? I totally do a lot to help them! Especially him! He would have been culled ages ago if it weren't for me.

[...]

And waaaaaaaait wait wait wait. You think he wants my attention? Like. Romantic attention, maybe?

[Juliet can find the good in just about anybody.]

You have saved his life in your world? Truly, Marquise, you are noble in deeds as well as in blood.

I know him not, so I cannot say as to what sort of attention he would like, but it is not beyond the realm of possibility. Perhaps he wishes a stronger friendship, or a familial bond, perhaps a romantic one. The only way to know for certain is to allow him to gain your favor and see how he reacts when he has it.

[Wouldn't it be grand? Romances are always grand!]

Holy shit.

This is uh. Really complicated all of a sudden! More than I thought it was, even.

[she wishes Kanaya were here; she could do with some meddling and advice right now]

How has it become complicated? I am happy to offer advice, if I am able.

... Ummmmmmmm. Well.

So I kind of know for a fact that he's supposed to be my matesprit, because his ancestor was my ancestor's matesprit! At least I'm pretty sure the summoner was his ancestor. It makes sense.

But he's nothing like that guy! His ancestor was strong and brave and completely worthy of being attached to my ancestor, and Tavros is weak and dumb and absconds from everything. It makes me so mad! Mad enough that I kind of have caliginous feelings for him, I think. So I don't know what to do! Should I keep trying to repeat history and get him into the flushed quadrant with me, or should I try to get him to be my kismesis instead? Or should I just give up on him entirely?

Man, romance is confusing.

[because she doesn't know that humans don't have the same kind of romance as trolls, she is completely unaware of how much that will go over Juliet's head]

[She listens very carefully. Much of it does not make sense to her, but there are parts that she understands, she thinks.]

You and Tavros are destined for one another, but you fear he is not worthy of your affection?

Forgive me, Marquise, you will have to explain some of your words, as when we discussed time previously. What are "caliginous" and "kismesis"? And I know not what a "flushed quadrant" may be.

[Although she's been here long enough that she thinks it might be a euphemism of some sort.]

It can be very confusing, especially when betrothals are involved. I was to marry a man my father chose for me, but whom I did not love. I was fortunate, however, to marry a man more worthy by far, and whom I love as ardently as he loves me.

[And cue dreamy smile from thoughts of Romeo.]

You don't have quadrants? That's so weird!

Uh, I'm not Karkat the Romance Expert or anything, but I guess I can try to explain this shit. Trolls have four quadrants. Two are concupiscent, which means mating stuff when we get older. Then there's red romance, which is for positive feelings like pity, and black romance, which is for negative feelings like hate. Tavros is supposed to be my matesprit, which is positive red romance, but I thiiiiiiiink my feelings for him are more black. But I don't really know!

[She pays careful attention, even though to her reckoning, it is most odd.]

If I have the right of it, because you and Tavros are destined for one another, you feel you should have romantic inclinations towards him, but you are uncertain as to whether or not you do, because his behavior is not what would be considered attractive and ideal for you. Has he had a chance to prove himself in your eyes? Has he courted at all? Even children may court, in their way, may show their feelings of affection toward one another.

[She's not touching the 'mating' part, because she has no experience in it at all, and one does not discuss such things with children, regardless.]

It's romantic either way! I just don't know if it's the right kind. And he's had soooooooo many chances, but he's ruined all of them!

[Troll romance is most confusing. Still, she is going to give it her best. Cheerful as she is this week, on top of her usual love of all things romantic, she can't not.]

And, these ruined chances make you think your feelings are more of the black romance of which you spoke? What could he do that would redeem him in your eyes, and do you wish him redeemed in such a fashion? If you do not wish his courtship, then he must of course leave off of it, regardless of your destined betrothal. If you do not love him in the way you feel you should, it is better to wait until you find someone whom you do love fully and without reservation.

He's not doing any of that courtship shit; that's part of the problem!

He could be stronger, or at least let me help make him stronger. But he just resists and resists and resiiiiiiiists.

[Ah. Now, she thinks she begins to see.]

Perhaps he worries that he will not be worthy of courting you if you are the one to help him become stronger. Men, at least human men, are often sensitive to such things. He may worry that he is not strong enough to protect you and be by your side, but that if he relies upon you for such aid, it only further proves his weakness. Cannot your friend Karkat, whom you have said is a great expert in romance, aid him to become worthy of your affections? He may take to that more readily.

He's so stubborn, he won't even let me help. He just says he doesn't like my way and then does more dumb shit.

He's just so WEAK, and he won't even try to get better. That's what makes me the angriest! He tries to make me into the bad guy when I'm really on his side!

Men are very strange creatures, sometimes. They perceive that to rely on a woman makes them weak, when nothing could be farther from the truth. We ladies are the foundation for their strength. But they are sometimes foolish and do not understand right away about such things. Often, other men must explain it to them, or we must make them understand in subtle ways, that they do not realize until they have given themselves over to our care how we have helped them.

[This is said with the greatest affection and sincerity.]

I guess. It's still fucking annoying how clueless and ungrateful he is. And the "future" one here is even worse.

[...]

So uh. You can call me Vriska if you want.

[congrats Juliet, you get to be the first person she tells her real name to]

I take it he has not improved in character, then.

[It's meant to sound slightly sarcastic. Truly, it is. But the event makes the words sound far more pleasant than she intends them to sound.]

Perhaps here, with time and patience, he will see fit to improve.

[And then, she blinks. Vriska is not a name the Marquise has ever told to her before. She smiles warmly. Clearly, it must be a given name, not part of her official title, and, like many of the nobility, she must hold it in reserve. She curtsies.]

As you like, Vriska. I am honored.

Just don't spread it around.

Again, as you like. I shall continue to use your title in public, Vriska.

Sweet!

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☣ 004 | audio

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